How do you balance being a wife, mommy, manager, house cleaner, chef, friend, daughter, and laundromat without losing yourself??
I'm beginning to think that what my dad has been saying ALL my life may be true. It's about balance. Meaning I balance my friend time with my hubby time and my mommy time. I went on a BFF date this evening (and had a GREAT time!) and couldn't help feeling guilty that I wasn't there to put the kids to bed. I wasn't there to do our 'Thing' (in which we sit down, sing praise songs, talk about our prayer requests, and then have a chain prayer....sweet, sweet time). I haven't been on a date night in a while and deep down I know that spending a night away from them every once in a while is good for both parties involved. But, the guilt is still there. While I was screaming while watching a scary movie, I was missing the cuddling and hearing sweet voices singing praises to Him.
Another example: I needed to cook dinner but the kids seemed to Need me. I told myself that cooking dinner was important and let them play by themselves for awhile. Before I know it, Nate is screaming that Ave "Squeezed his arm like This (insert iron fist here)!!". Avery wanted Nathan to dance with her. She needed some attention (and a dance partner) while I was playing chef. Should I have been playing Prince or chef?
I liken this feeling to an exercise Sherri told me about. Imagine you are standing in the middle of 4 cones...each a bit far out of reach from your place in the center. Someone yells, "front-left!" and you run to touch that cone and run back to the middle. Now imagine all the responsibilities you have in your life, taped to various cones and spread around a baseball field. Someone yells, "Mommy time!" and you run to that cone, take care of the responsibility and run back to home plate. Then, "Laundry!" There and back. "Daughter time". Run! "Wife". "Grocery shop"...Whew! It's never ending!
Each cone is important but there are some more important than others. The Mommy cone is very important. As are the wife, friend, and daughter cones. The Chef cone can be put on the back burner (that's what delivery is for). The laundry cone becomes increasingly bigger the longer you ignore it. Same with the housekeeping cone.
In my anxious times I feel like all I am doing is running from cone to cone. In my peaceful times, the cones are sitting close together. All within arms reach. Sometimes, my cones move apart and I can't even reach them. Those are the times I feel as if I'm drowning....running without moving. It's in those times that I have to call out. I pray for peace. For the anxiousness to go away. For me to be SuperMom and for God to intercede. I also call out for my friends and family. My friends that are family. I couldn't get through without them. They come and move the cones closer. They take care of the cones that have me overwhelmed.
It's during those times that God gives me glimpses of what is important. Mainly, my children and their childhood. A random hug from Nathan or an "I love you, Mommy" from Avery. They are precious. Precious in my sight and in His. The things they do that lift my heart are innumerous. Their laughter, singing praise songs in the backseat, learning more about the world, playing together, giving me hugs and kisses, simply smiling when the cones are moving farther away. They get me through. My family gets me though. He gets me through.
I don't know where this post was going. But I felt the need to let others know....I feel overwhelmed, too. He can help us all.
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