Nuts about Nate!

Things with Avery hadn't really calmed down when I started feeling strange. Again, I took a test to put my mind at ease, and was in shock when there were 2 pink lines staring back at me! Avery was still a baby. How was I going to raise 2 babies, giving each baby the time and attention they deserve?? One word to describe how I felt that day: Panic. This wasn't in my long term plan. It took awhile to sink in and in a few days I was excited. Well, I was worried and excited at the same time. Kent, Sherri, Doug, and I were about to go to Las Vegas in a few days (pregnant was not the way I was expecting to spend my vacation in Las Vegas!) but I wanted to see the Dr before we went. They did an u/s because I had no clue how far along I was. The u/s didn't show the baby. There was a sac but we couldn't see the baby. So, the Dr said 1 of 2 things was happening: 1) I was pregnant but it was too early to see the baby or 2) It wasn't a real pregnancy. Meaning my body thought I was pregnant but there wasn't a baby. I was to come back in 2 weeks for another u/s. If at that point we couldn't see the baby, I would have to have a D&C. Wow, what a way to start a vacation! We went to Vegas anyway(somewhat against the Dr's orders) and had a blast! I was constantly back and forth. I'm definitely pregnant, maybe I'm not. I was starting to feel sick and tired all day. 2 weeks later we went back to the Dr and there was Nate. It was a huge relief! Seeing that I can't have easy pregnancies, I began throwing up 3 times a day, without fail.

Since I had a c-section with Avery, the Dr thought it was best if I had a c-section with Nathan too. We set the date for August 28, 2008. The entire time I was pregnant with Nathan I worried about raising 2 babies at once. My main fear, though, was about putting them to sleep. While I was pregnant, we were still rocking Ave to sleep every time (1st child, clearly!). How in the world was I going to rock Nathan to sleep if Avery was awake? Or vice-versa? Doug is gone for 24 hours at a time so if he was at work, what was I going to do?

August 28th came and I checked into the hospital. Nathan was born at 7:20 weighing 9lbs 2oz and 21 inches long. A big baby! I got to hold him for a second then they took him away to get him cleaned up. While I was in recovery, the Dr came in and said Nate had been admitted to the NICU. He wasn't breathing right. A baby shouldn't be breathing as fast as he was. They ran some tests and found fluid in his lungs (transient tachypnea). There was also a problem with his blood sugar and a mild infection. When I was being moved from recovery to my room, they wheeled me into the NICU so I could see Nate. All I could see was his foot and all the wires that were attached to him. It was awful. After a c-section you can't walk for awhile so while everyone else could go look at Nate every 3 hours, I had to stay in bed. Doug would go and video tape Nathan during visitation and bring the video back so I could watch. During one video, Nathan just cried the whole time. Since he had a breathing problem, we couldn't pick him up as it might raise his heart rate and cause more problems. I cannot describe the feelings I was having. Watching Nate cry all alone in this warmer with a tube down his throat into his belly, a tiny oxygen cannula in his nose, an IV in his arm and gobs of wires attached to his chest was seriously the hardest thing I had ever experienced. Finally, I was able to go-via wheelchair- into the NICU to see Nathan. I held him and just cried and cried. We were only allowed to visit every 3 hrs. On Saturday, he was stable enough for me to nurse him. He nursed like a champ!

The stay at the hospital was full of ups and downs. We would come into the NICU and he was doing better, no IV and no oxygen. Next time, the IV was back. It was a roller coaster. Nathan was released from the NICU on Sunday afternoon. It was such a joy to have him in my room and be able to hold him anytime we wanted! We were given the green light for check-out Monday. Everything was packed and we were anxiously waiting for the Drs to check him over one more time, when the nurse came in. She said she was listening to his heart and heard a murmur. They had checked him back into the NICU and scheduled a ECG. They were calling a pediatric heart surgery team to see if they had any openings in their schedule, if needed. Again, my world stopped. It felt like he had been in my arms and they had snatched him away. After a few more hours we were able to go and watch the ECG. They did find a sizable hole in his heart. Conversations with the pediatric cardiologist and the NICU dr did not sound good. Doug and I were sent back to our room to wait and see what they Drs decided. I don't think I have ever prayed as hard as I did that day. Around 5pm, the nurse came in and said we could go! Just like that! I had to bring Nathan back in a few days for the NICU dr to listen to his heart and check his lungs, but if I promised to do that, we were free! A few days later, the Dr listened to his heart and said he didn't hear anything! What a miracle! Since then, we haven't had any report of a heart murmur, praise God!

Nathan is God's lesson to me about trusting Him. Things were rough with a 14 month old and a newborn. Avery couldn't walk, so it was hard for me to get out of the house without help. During that time in my life, I had to constantly remember (and be reminded!) that God wouldn't give me more than I could handle. About a month into Nathan's life, we realized he would go to sleep on his own! He didn't like to be rocked! Avery was, by then, going to sleep on her own. I didn't even need to worry about that, God took care of it! Today Nate is a pretty easy going little guy. He is learning to make faces at us and make us laugh. He has a temper!! Doug and I are trying to figure out how to deal with that. Boys are lots of fun. I'm so glad that God has His own plan because I know it is the best plan for me and my family!