Time is limited

I know, I know..I'm a bad blogger! Raising 2 kids, keeping up with a house, a job and a husband leaves little time for blogging! Funny how someone getting sick causes you to visit them more often. My grandparents live on the same plot of land as my parents and often I would drive by their house to my parents' house without giving them a second thought. Then, my sweet papa recently spent almost a week in the hospital with pneumonia. Now, he is on constant oxygen. Nana has Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. This turn of events has made me realize that my time with my grandparents is precious and limited. They no longer walk me out to my car with warnings such as," lock your doors, don't talk to strangers, call us when you get home, and drive safe", then wave and say goodbye until you can't see them anymore. Nana was always a wonderful cook (roast and potatoes being her specialty) but isn't able to do that anymore due to the shaking and forgetfulness. Papa made the best chocolate milkshakes ever, but I'm not sure he could scoop the ice cream anymore. When I would spend the night at their house, he would make me a milkshake for breakfast and let me dip graham crackers in it. We would go for walks and look for treasures. On the last night he would get in bed with me and tell me stories. When I would walk in the room in the morning he would sing, "Here she comes! Ms. America." At night time I would crawl in his lap and go to sleep. He is the only grandfather I've ever had and I can't imagine my life without him. Stubborn as a mule but sweet as sugar. Time goes quickly. Make use of the time you have. My Nana can make friends with anyone. She is a social butterfly! I remember staying at her house one week during the summer. We went to climb up Enchanted Rock and an armadillo walked across my path! I screamed because I had never seen one alive! She laughed and laughed about that. When we were playing cards she would constantly ask her imaginary friend George on his opinion regarding what she should play. She would put makeup on me and we would go for walks around the neighborhood, stopping to talk to anyone that we passed. Nana may be small but she is a firecracker! I think I get some of my firecracker from her! Now most days, they sit and watch TV all day.....sometimes crying, sometimes staring off into space. Seeing my children gives them such joy and breaks up the monotony of their day. I make an effort to take the kids out to their house and spend time with them. It's a long drive and it's out of my way, but it's worth it to see their smiles and hear their laughter. Time is limited. Papa is dealing with depression and I absolutely know how he feels....I've been there. But I want to help. I want to drag him outside in the sun and let him breath the fresh air. I want to take him to lunch. More than that, I want my old Papa back. The Papa that whistles constantly. My Papa that pokes and aggravates and laughs until you finally hit him to make him stop. The Papa that makes kissing noises in your ear and then asks if the hair on your legs is growing. My Papa that walks with integrity, humility, patience and laughter. Now, my Papa cries easily. He doesn't like to leave the house. He watches TV most of the day. He doesn't talk as much but when he does, he talks about people that have died recently. I want to grab him by the shoulders and say," Don't go down this road! Emotional health affects physical health! I need you here with me. My kids need their Papa A. I need to hear you call me your babygirl, your favorite granddaughter. I need to be able to come to your house for a milkshake and hear you whistling!! I need you here with me!!" But I can't. Time is limited. But I have hope. Heaven is on the horizon for him. He is a saved man, saved by God's grace. He is going to heaven. No tears in heaven. No pain or worry. No more health problems. No more sadness! I imagine he will be sitting around with my Grandma, his sister and his parents, talking and laughing. Giving his sister fits, just like old times. He is saved. Heaven is his future. He can spend eternity praising God, the God he loves. He will be happy. Whistling as he walks down the streets of gold. But time is limited here. It always has been and I wish that I would have realized that sooner. I wish I would have stopped by their house every chance I got. Soaked up my time with them while truly understanding that time was limited. But, I didn't. And I regret that. I don't believe regret is in God's plan for me so instead I will try to savor the moments I had with Papa and the moments I will have for a little while longer. I'm trying to focus on the times that I have had instead of the times that I have neglected to spend with them. Time is limited and it makes me sad and regretful. But it makes me happy for Papa. He will soon be in Heaven, the perfect place. He will leave us here, trying to cope with a life without him and his teasing and whistling. We will be together one day in Heaven. And that will be an awesome reunion. To hear him call my babygirl and see happiness in his eyes. That time will not be sad or filled with pain. That time will not be limited. Praise God